An email to Ocean Spray

Subject: Ocean Spray, Tea, Gloves and the Arctic. Re: The TV advertising campaign

By Clinton Montague

Posts by Clinton Montague
Clinton Montague’s Website

Dear Sir,

After watching your advert on TV about how easy it was to drink Ocean Spray with gloves on, I decided that on my recent Arctic exploring trip, I would leave behind my usual Darjeeling and instead take your juice instead.

Upon arriving at the Arctic Circle, me and my chums decided it would be a prudent time to have a jolly nice sit down and enjoy some dry yet refreshing fruit juice. That’s when we were struck by total disaster. A nasty twist of fate. We were unable to open the juice with our gloves on. Oh, what we would have done for a nice warm pot full of a well brewed, full on Morning Breakfast. We were so parched that we would have even settled for Tetleys, but alas, it was not to be so.

After hours stuck in the Arctic Tundra with no accessible liquid, my dear friend, Sir T. Cup of Yorkshire, was getting desperate. He took off his glove and opened the juice. By the beard of Zeus, it was delicious, but was the refreshing taste worth the hand of a good man?

Yours sincerely,

Lord Clinton Montague.

(Oh, ok, I’m not really a Lord, have a friend who lost a hand or explore the Arctic. But it IS difficult to open the juice with gloves on!)

Update! They replied!

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One Comment

  1. Clinton Montague added these wise words on April 13, 2010 | Permalink

    The response (at first glance, it appears generic, but the italicised paragraph is actually rather good. +1):

    Dear Lord Clinton Montague,

    Thank you for taking the time to contact Ocean Spray.

    We’re really pleased to hear you are enjoying the new TV advertising campaign and that it has triggered such vivid developments in your imagination.

    Did you know that drinking Ocean Spray, twice a day, everyday may keep you healthy, especially during expeditions in the Arctic? We appreciate that you may encounter difficulties when wearing polar gloves but the compensation surely is that, in such chilled conditions you can just peel back the carton and you have a delicious cranberry ice lolly which will keep you refreshed for hours while sledging across the tundra.

    Research has shown that just one 250ml serving of Cranberry Classic or Cranberry Classic Light typically contains 80mg of proanthocyanidins or PACs. These are powerful condensed tannins, nature’s natural agents that may help to maintain health by acting on certain harmful bacteria in the body.

    So a long cool refreshing glass of Ocean Spray Cranberry Classic Juice Drink first thing in the morning and at night is the delicious way to start and end your day.

    Thank you again for your interest in Ocean Spray

    Kind regards

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